I’ve been wondering lately what has happened to commitment? And manners for that sake. Is it just that my generation missed this part of their education, or just dismissed it? I’m talking specifically about following through with things we say we are going to do. This would include marriage, but that could be a whole blog entry in and of itself. Case in point: when someone says they are going to attend something, has informed the host/hostess they will be there, and does not show. My mom told me a story the other day about a wedding she was help doing cleanup at. Fifty-five people who had RSVP’d that they would be there did not show up. That’s 55 plates of food that still had to be paid for even though no one was there to eat them. That’s 55 plates worth of money that could have been spent somewhere else, or not at all. If you’ve ever had anything to do with planning for or paying for a wedding, that’s a lot of money. I would say that a small percentage of those people may have had an actual emergency that would keep them from attending, but the odds are greater that they just decided not to go without telling the bride. This is the part that irks me about people lately: the lack of manners and thoughtlessness of other people. We are so involved in ourselves that we don’t really realize the effect of our decisions on others.
I recently invited some ladies and their children over for tea. A few were kind enough to tell me that they would not be able to come, and about 8 ladies had told me that there would attend at some time or another. Out of those 8, 3 actually showed up. I had put quite a lot of time into making sure the house was picked up, cleaned, and child friendly. Also, the baking and cooking for 8 ladies plus some children took time, energy, and money. It took days to get ready to have people over, and I had to plan very carefully so as to work around nap time and play time of my 9 month old. Although we had a nice time, I was very disappointed that that many ladies flaked on me. A few of them told me “sorry” afterwards, but what was I supposed to say? “Oh, it’s okay, I just spent a whole lot of time and money for you not to show up?” That would be rude of me, but at the same time I don’t want to tell them that it was okay. Because I think it was very rude. A few of the ladies had said that they just got too involved in their day and couldn’t make it. I don’t operate that way, so it’s hard for me to understand. When I know that I have somewhere to be I plan the rest of my day around that. Making sure that I have enough time to get ready and make the drive to be where I need to be on time. This is just how I operate. I don’t like to be late, and if I say I am going to be somewhere, I damn well try my hardest to be there.
It’s sad that if you are planning an event these days you should count on only half the people that said there were coming to actually show up. How do we teach our children to have any sort of commitment to things if it is not displayed for them in the home? Think of how much better we would be as a society if we actually did what we said we were going to do. If we began to think about other people before ourselves, the world would be an amazing place.
So here is my challenge to anyone who reads this: Follow through. Commit to what you say you will do, be where you say you will be. I, myself, will now look at things more carefully before I commit to them; to make sure I can keep that commitment, especially if it involves someone else’s money, time, or resources.
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